Halloween Disc-A-Day: Day 12 – The Boneyard Collection

For a third year, I’m going to be watching at least one horror DVD per day and writing a short review about them. I’ve acquired a new batch that I haven’t previously seen, so without any further delay. Let’s get to work.

The Boneyard Collection (2008)

A quirky anthology, consisting of four separate short films connected by host segments. The first one, BOOGIE WITH THE UNDEAD, has an all girl rock band booked to play a gig in a town overrun by flesh-eating zombies. In the second one, THE DEVIL’S DUE AT MIDNIGHT, a coven of beautiful witches conjure up Brad Dourif as The Devil, and endures the inept attacks of witch killer Ken Foree. In the first long segment, HER MORBID DESIRES, an actress gets the lead role in a vampire movie, only to discover that starlets are being murdered on the set. The other long segment, CRY OF THE MUMMY, has the reincarnated mummy, formerly the last Pharaoh of the 4th Dynasty, looking to sue the movie studios because he can’t get work as a mummy. His new lawyer offers to represent him as an agent, but the mummy will only work in film if he can direct.

I’m glad that the synopsis is so long.  It takes the responsibility of actually saying anything about it off of me.  I found this to be so goddamn boring.  The first segment of this hour and a half anthology is fifty minutes long.   They even tease it being over with “The End” in large text then it keeps going for at least another five minutes.  I just noticed the synopsis is out of order.  Her Morbid Desire is the first segment followed by Boogie with the Undead, Cry of the Mummy, then The Devil’s Due At Midnight.  There almost in order of worst to least worst except Cry of the Mummy would need to move forward one spot.  It’s another absurdly long segment that goes nowhere.  The other two aren’t good, but they don’t waster your time as aggressively with terrible horror comedy.  The synopsis lists a few of the cameos.  I’m not going to get into them, because they’re embarrassing and I don’t want to call anyone out on them.

Tomorrow has to be a better movie.   If you’re one of those people that feels compelled to torture yourself when you here about a bad movie, The Boneyard Collection is on Amazon Prime.  So is the anthology I made, Speedfreak: A 5 Minute Anthology, if you’re interested.  Also Motion Picture Meltdown is talking about horror anthologies all month long, so if you haven’t subscribed yet go ahead and do it.

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